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Thirteen Jalopnik Writers Own A Total Of 41 Cars, Trucks And Motorcycles

Thirteen Jalopnik Writers Own A Total Of 41 Cars, Trucks And Motorcycles

Here's your end-of-year rundown on the state of the Jalop fleet

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The world of Jalopnik has changed a lot since May of 2021, the last time we gave you a rundown of all of our cars. We lost two of the site’s most prolific collectors, but a few of us (myself included) bought a few more cars to keep the average pretty high. It goes without saying that we gravitate toward older vehicles with an enthusiast bent, and we probably have spent more keeping these machines running than a lease on a new Accord. We are what we are.

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Here are a few interesting statistics to get you primed to check out the full list. Among all of the writers for this site, we own seven motorcycles, four electric vehicles, three diesels, and at least six long-term non-running projects. One of us, a real weirdo, owns 13 vehicles. What’s wrong with that guy? Anyway, back in 2021 we owned ten Jeeps and nine Volkswagens, but now Porsche is the most represented brand among Jalops, with six. Weird.

Okay, let’s get going.

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Trucks

We don’t take kindly to daily driving trucks around these parts. We believe in crew-cab long-bed teal machines that just don’t get built anymore.Only one person here owns a pickup, and it’s EIC Rory’s homestead machine. This era and size of pickup truck is truly the Platonic ideal truck.

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Rory Carroll - Ford F-150

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SUVs

There aren’t too many SUVs around here, either. Just four! Considering how many are sold every year, it’s amazing that the people who review them for a living just choose not to buy them. You heard it here first, driving SUVs is lame!

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Bradley Brownell - 2013 Porsche Cayenne Diesel

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I recently bought this vehicle to handle our upcoming towing needs. It’s very comfortable, and somehow (Dieselgate) delivers 40 miles per gallon on the highway. It was available locally, and for a decent price. Of course it has an oil leak, why do you ask? - BB

Rory Carroll - 2007 Lexus GX470

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“Kind of looks like a big, dumb dog.” - RC

Elizabeth Blackstock - 1996 Chevrolet Suburban 2500 LT

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My sweet, beautiful, baby blue ‘Burb has been treating me well for almost three years now. It has shuttled me to Formula 1 races, hauled my Mazda across the country when I moved from Philadelphia, served as a great pseudo-camper at Watkins Glen, and earns the envious stares of everyone in my rural Texas neighborhood. - EB

Andy Kalmowitz - 2006 Ford Explorer Limited

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This right here is my college car. I got it the summer before my senior year at Penn State, and since then I’ve put about 40,000 miles on it. It’s a workhorse and incredibly useful for when my Z4 is broken... or if I have to drive around more than one other person.

This car has been a trusty companion on so many road trips. From South Carolina, Vermont, Washington D.C. and multiple trips back up to Penn State, this thing is a rock. Is it slow as shit? Yes. Do I have to use one of those annoying-ass Bluetooth-to-FM receivers to play my own music because the nice people at Ford didn’t think it was worth it to include an AUX jack? You bet. Is the gas mileage pitiful even though it has a V6 engine? Good lord yes, but this thing just keeps on kicking.

I cannot say I have a deep love for the Explorer, but Ron Burgundy (my buddies and my nickname for the thing) will do pretty much whatever you ask it to do, and that’s worth something. - AK

Rory Carroll - 1948 Willys CJ-2A

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It’s totally original and in decent condition considering it spent its early life as a farm implement in upstate New York. -RC

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Sedans

We are witnessing the end times for sedans, and it’s sad. At least a couple are still appreciated around these parts.

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Bradley Brownell - 1995 Audi S6

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This car proves my brain is broken. I daily drove this Audi for several years, and absolutely loved it. That AAN inline-five turbo just rules. After someone backed into my car in a parking lot and took off, I was left with a pearl white albatross around my neck, as I’d never find a bumper worth buying, or a paint shop that could provide a passable match. I decided to go a whole different direction with this car, and lifted it 12 inches. This, of course, made it awful to drive, and I parked it for three years. I recently gave it to a friend, it started on the first crank, and he drove it across the country trouble-free. Great car. I can probably learn to live without it. - BB

Lawrence Hodge - 2018 Hyundai Sonata

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It’s just a lowly Hyundai Sonata. - LH

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5 / 15

Hatchbacks

Hatchbacks

Hatches are like sedans, but more wagon-y. What’s not to love? Especially a hot hatch. Every one of these cars is phenomenal in its own right, and all of these folks love their hatches. Maybe get yourself one.

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Rory Carroll - 2015 Volkswagen GTI

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There are not a lot of cars you can buy today that I’d recommend more highly, or that I recommend more often. Her car hasn’t exactly been babied—the wheels are curbed, there are remnants of kid snacks all over the back seat and a dozen or so stickers on the inside of the passenger rear window—and it fucking rips. We do 4 hour road trips with two kids and a dog in it, we do daily commuting in it, we grocery shop in it and now, we track it. It could really be our only car. - RC

José Rodríguez Jr. - 1997 BMW 318ti

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The last time we did this, I checked in with the single machine I owned, my beloved 1997 BMW 318ti, which I daily drive. Two years on, and, of course, the red hatch is still in my stable. It now has over 212,000 miles and, yet, it remains on the original engine, transmission and clutch. I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of it.

The only thing I have against the 318ti is that it has unreliable electric windows. If I could retrofit crank windows and finally fix the damn sunroof — it’s been off-track for years — that would downplay the A/C issues that plague it.

In a BMW this old, there’s a handful of things wrong at any given time. But that doesn’t stop me from loving the car to death, and daydreaming of fitting ITBs on that mighty inline-four to make it wail as the little car struggles to catch up to modern minivans pulling away at the stoplight. - JR

Elizabeth Blackstock - 2013 Mazda2

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Running despite my best efforts to slice through the suspension while fixing it

My 2013 Mazda2 was my first car out of high school and has been fighting the food fight with E. A. Blackstock as its owner for a full decade now. It’s small, and I love pretending I’m a race car driver when I’m behind the wheel. That has resulted in its current desperate need for a suspension overhaul, which my husband and I kinda-sorta got partway through before we accidentally chopped a control arm (please don’t ask, I don’t want to talk about it). - EB

Logan Carter - 2017 Mini Cooper S 5-door

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My 2017 F55 Mini Cooper S is my sole car, and it makes me smile every time I go for a drive. I live in hyper-urban Hollywood, so its compact size and spunky handling and powertrain are perfect for me. I stand 6'8" tall and I fit great in my car, better in my Mini than in most other vehicles I’ve driven, in fact. I regularly get upwards of 35 mpg when on long trips which is ideal for California’s $6/ gallon gas. I installed a thicker rear anti-sway bar and slapped on some summer tires this year and I have never been more in-love with my daily. - LC

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Coupes

Apparently I’m the only one around here who still likes a good coupe. I don’t have kids I need to tote around, and I like a small machine that goes vroom vroom fast. Here are my coupes.

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Bradley Brownell - 1976 Porsche 912E

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This car means a lot to me. I’ve had it since 2015, and I’ve driven it across the country half a dozen times. It has largely been a great little yellow happiness-inducer, aside from the engine deciding it was done in 2019. This car is essentially mechanically brand new, while the outside is patina city. It drives great, aside from a steering shimmy at highway speeds that I can’t figure out. I am constantly waffling about selling it, but I’m not sure I can bring myself to do it. - BB

Bradley Brownell - 2001 Porsche 911 Turbo

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This is hands down the best car I’ve ever owned. It’s powerful and fun when you need it to be, but docile and comfortable when you just want to cover some miles. It’s currently in for a fresh paint job over the winter, and will be getting a full custom interior and a few other touches next summer. - BB

Bradley Brownell - 1997 Dodge Neon ACR

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This might be the nicest 1G Neon left on the planet. If my 996 is a kinda shitty example of a great car, my ACR is a great example of a kinda shitty car. There are certainly a lot of bargain-basement parts in this car, and it rattles and whistles like the econobox it’s based on, but it just rips so hard. It has a built 2.4-liter under the hood making about 250 naturally-aspirated horsepower and a 50 shot of nitrous. - BB

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7 / 15

Convertibles

Convertibles

Convertibles are amazing, and some of the best cars of all time. Everyone loves to put the top down on a beautiful day. Well, except Daniel.

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Daniel Golson - 1991 Mercedes-Benz 300SL

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This is my 1991 Mercedes-Benz 300SL, which I bought back in the spring of 2021 about a year after moving to Los Angeles. I didn’t care about getting something especially sporty – if I want to hit the canyons, I’ll take whatever press car I’ve got – instead going for a car that is perfectly suited to a drive along the Malibu coastline or getting groceries in the city. Paramount to my decision-making was that my car had to be flashy and unique, which my SL certainly is thanks to its two-tone teal paint, gold pinstripes, chrome wheels and gold badges. (The (heart)MYSLMB plate came with the car, too.)

After many thousands of dollars put into the car, some of which was to fix ridiculous maintenance mistakes done by previous owners like an epoxy-covered headgasket, my SL is finally running exceptionally well. There are still a handful of old-German-car problems, like a broken odometer, busted power headrests and some loose trim pieces, but I’ve got no qualms about taking my wonderful roadster on a long road trip.

Oh, and I’ve never taken the hard top off. I don’t really like convertibles – I rarely even drive with the windows down – and I’m terrified of the hydraulically operated soft top failing and costing me additional thousands to fix. So my 300SL is strictly a coupe. It looks better that way anyway. - DG

Bradley Brownell - 1991 Cadillac Allanté

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Sometimes you just have terrible luck buying a car. I flew to North Carolina to buy this car and drive it home. A quarter mile from my driveway it decided it didn’t want to run right anymore, and I’ve been chasing the problem for almost two years. I had big plans for this thing, but these days it mostly just sits in storage and pisses me off. - BB

Rob Emslie - 2001 Porsche Boxster

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My 2001 Porsche 986 Boxster in triple black. This was my “pandemic project car” that I bought back in 2020, but that has always been a runner, needing only some cosmetic and minor maintenance work to keep it happy. It’s not the quickest of my cars, but out of the three convertibles I have, it’s the only one with a power top (and the only one currently running). One of the best aspects of owning a Porsche—even a lowly 986—is being a member of the Porsche Club of America. The PCA is one of the biggest and most active car clubs around, so there’s always plenty of shenanigans to be had. -RE

Andy Kalmowitz - 2007 BMW Z4 3.0si

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I love this stupid car so much. Despite the amount of money I’ve spent keeping it going over my three-and-a-bit years of ownership, every single time I drive it I get reminded how wonderful it is.

Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve been infatuated with the E85 Z4... for better or worse. I always considered it my attainable dream car, and while it always hasn’t been a dream to own, I always find it to be a dream to drive. I know that 7-year-old me looking at pictures of a 2003 Z4 in an auto magazine would be incredibly proud of the fact I was able to get one.

Unfortunately, I just do not get to drive it nearly as much as I would like. You see, I bought this car in September of 2020. I was fresh-ish out of college and living at home. Within two months I was living in Manhattan and obviously no longer needed a car. I’ve constantly considered selling it. Even with the work I’ve done, it’s appreciated a decent amount since I first bought it. But, every single time I drive it I say “forget it” and fall back in love.

If you’ve ever got the chance to buy your childhood dream car, do it. Nothing will make you happier. - AK

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Wagons

Wagons make the best daily drivers. That’s just a proven fact. If you need to carry any amount of stuff ever, get a wagon. Sadly, they’re all dead.

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Erin Marquis - 2015 Volkswagen Golf Sportwagen TDI

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Like my Cayenne, Erin’s Volkswagen is a refugee of the Dieselgate “Clean Diesel” era that Volkswagen AG would like the world to forget about. It’s a solid and fetching daily-driver that she has relied on for years, and will continue to for many more to come. Great car, great color. - BB

Bradley Brownell - 2018 Buick Regal TourX

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The TourX has served as our daily driver since we picked it up five years ago. It just rolled over 100,000 miles, and has been an absolute champ. Unfortunately, it’s time for it to go. It’s for sale if you know anyone interested. - BB

Collin Woodard - 2008 Subaru Forester

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Atlanta proved too rough for my E39 540i to handle, so it’s been sent to live with my parents until I’m better able to take care of it. In it’s place, I got my old dented-up Forester (when you live in LA’s Koreatown, buying a pre-dented car is a feature, not a bug) back from my brother who insisted, for some reason, on buying a brand new Jetta. Since it’s an old Subaru, the head and valve gaskets are obviously leaking, but I just carry oil with me everywhere I go, and it’s fine. It’s not worth fixing, so I’ll probably be selling it soon. If it dies before then, at least I have my e-bike. - CW

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9 / 15

Motorcycles

Motorcycles

We love motorcycles! There’s just something so enjoyable about getting out there and taking in some good two-wheel fun. If it wasn’t 29 degrees right now, I’d go for a ride.

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Bradley Brownell - 1996 BMW R1100 GS

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I love this bike so much, it’s just the perfect period-correct adventure tourer, and I could rack hundreds of thousands of miles on this machine, and likely someday will. Unfortunately ever since I moved back to the midwest, I’ve kind of avoided riding as much as I used to. The roads here are trash, and they don’t have any curves. I need to get this bike back out west and in the dirt. It deserves it.

Elizabeth Blackstock - Yamaha Dirt Bike

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I’m going to be entirely honest: I know nothing about the dirt bike that lives in my shed, other than that if the seat is to be believed, it is a Yamaha. I also know that just about every perishable component on it has dry rotted, and that it does not have any legal registration. My brother bought this dirt bike off Some Guy Online that didn’t have any record of ownership, and I inherited it when my brother decided he looked like a gorilla on a tricycle when he rode it. One day, when it works again, my neighbors have given me permission to ride it on their large property. Until then, it makes a pretty nifty decoration. - EB

Steve DaSilva - 2013 BMW F800 GS

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It still needs a few things — the brakes still don’t feel great, even with the new fluid, and the chain and sprockets could use replacement — but it’s in good enough shape to trust for a trip. That’s a far cry from the condition it was in [when I bought it], when even the ride home from my purchase was sketchy as hell. - SD

José Rodríguez Jr. - 1986 Yamaha SRX600

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This 1986 Yamaha SRX600 joined the hatchback in the garage about a year-and-a-half ago. It’s even older than the BMW, but is arguably more reliable. It hasn’t given me many issues besides those I’ve caused myself by dropping the poor thing twice. Mind your kickstands, my friends.

Since I bought it (with about 17,500 miles on the odometer) the SRX600 has gone through a full tune up, and then some: all fluids flushed, oil was changed, fresh bulbs all around, new battery, new tires, new brake pads and even chrome mirrors to get it as close to stock as possible.

I’ve always said if I ever win the lottery, I’ll keep my current stable but pour thousands into the BMW’s engine bay and Yamaha with outrageous upgrades. JB Power has enough parts to turn the SRX600 into a formidable machine despite its age. That’s the charm of these old vehicles: they’re never quite done getting better — just like their owners. That’s the difference between being and becoming. - JR

Bradley Brownell - 1983 Honda MB5

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This is one of those things that I’ll never be able to get rid of. I bought this a bit over a decade ago to use as a daily commuter machine, and I love it dearly. It’s slow and small, but it’s great for lots of reasons. Maybe I’ll adapt an electric motor to this and zoom around town with it. I’ve always had dreams of running this bike to 100 at Bonneville, and EV power could make that happen. Maybe I’ll get to it this winter. -BB

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10 / 15

Projects

Projects

Look, we’re all going to have a few cars sitting around taking up space. We have trouble letting go.

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Elizabeth Blackstock - 1979 Ford Fairmont

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It is aggressively not running.

My husband bought this beautiful tan Ford back when he lived in Ontario and proudly shipped it all the way home to Texas when he finally got his green card this year. It hasn’t been in running order for quite a while now, but one day this sweet little sedan will get back on the road (i.e. when we finally have Some Money). - EB

Elizabeth Blackstock - 1996 Pontiac Firebird

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It is currently just a nice lawn ornament

I bought a $2200 1996 Pontiac Firebird to learn how to drive stick, because I kind of know, but I’m not really confident in the whole endeavor. The rattle-can paint job probably should have indicated that it was in need of some work, and while I have the parts I need (see: brakes that are not worn to hell and back), I haven’t had the time or motivation to, y’know, get it in working order. - EB

Bradley Brownell - 1997 Porsche Boxster Hybrid

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This is a long-term project that got left behind in Nevada when I moved to Ohio in 2021. It’s also one of my biggest regrets. One day I will get around to it. The plan is to install a Nissan Leaf motor in the front trunk to power the front wheels, and keeping the stock 2.5-liter powering the rear wheels. It’ll be a track-focused monoposto. Yeah, it’ll take forever. Maybe I’ll get to it this winter. - BB

Rory Carroll - 1984 Porsche 911

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Rory has been working on this one longer than I’ve known him. I once told him I’d drive to his place and help him get it running again in a weekend, but never actually did that. Maybe sometime this winter I will. - BB

Rob Emslie - 1961 Austin-Healey Sprite

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Here, we have the 1275 A-Series bare block and, in the background, the 1961 Austin Healey Sprite that it will eventually go into. The motor, along with a Rib Case four-speed and disc front brakes, came from a 1972 MG Midget that I bought years ago, stripped bare, and then cut into quarters with a blowtorch and took to the dump. I rebuilt the Sprite from the ground up but never cracked open its original 948 cc engine. The 1275 will have new internals, and everything has already been balanced prior to assembly. I guess I need to get a move on with this one, too. - RE

Rob Emslie - 1974 Jensen-Healey

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My 1974 Jensen Healey project car has been on the back burner for a number of years now. I bought it from a body shop where a previous owner had abandoned it, so it annoyingly came without a title. When I went to the DMV to square things away, I was told that the VIN had been dropped from the system, as the car had been out of commission for so long. I was told by the DMV that VIN now comes up for a boat! I’m not sure what I’m going to do with the car save for getting some used tires under it so I can at least roll it out of the garage to assess what all (cough*everything*cough) needs to be done. - RE

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11 / 15

Track/Racing

Track/Racing

Bradley Brownell - BMW K100 RS

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This BMW kind of fell into my lap, and I probably bit off more than I could chew. It ran when parked, before a friend and I tore it all apart. I bought clip-ons and rearsets for this at great expense with the intent of turning it into a track-0nly bike. It’s been two years since those parts came in the mail, and I haven’t even opened the box yet. It needs a lot. Maybe I’ll get to it this winter.

Rory Carroll - Lada Niva

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It’s a Lada that once raced in the 24 Hours of Lemons. It’s getting a Honda K-series swap, and Subaru BRZ suspension, at great expense, because that’s awesome. Don’t ask questions.

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EVs

We’ve said a lot of kind words about electric vehicles over the years, and many of them are very good. Some of us even own them.

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Bradley Brownell - 2020 Harley-Davidson LiveWire

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I fell in love with the LiveWire when I went on the launch of this bike in 2019. It kicked so much ass that I absolutely had to buy one. I got this one used for a comparative song, and I don’t think I’ll ever sell it. It’s the best bike I’ve ever ridden, and the quickest thing I’ve ever owned. - BB

Rob Emslie - 2021 Tesla Model 3

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My daily and the quickest car I have ever owned. This is a 2021 Tesla Model 3 Long Range with the Acceleration Boost option. I purchased it used, with that spec. This is a car that I found takes a while to get used to. It isn’t the one-pedal driving or single-screen dash that requires adjustment so much, but the ungainly weight. These drive heavy, and initially, that’s a distraction. After six months, though, I’m now used to it. And before you ask, yes, I do think Elon Musk is a dick. It’s just hard to argue with Tesla’s tech and its awesome Supercharger network. - RE

Daniel Fox - Chevrolet Bolt

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Here’s my 2020 Chevrolet Bolt EV Premier. I do a ton of back and forth driving from Queens to Long Island for family reasons and it suits me well. I’m a simple man. - DF

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13 / 15

Everything Else

Everything Else

We have a lot of things that don’t really fit any specific trend. Here they are.

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Bradley Brownell - 2008 Ford E350 Super Duty Ambulance

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I bought this monstrosity to haul merch and other event support materials around the country when I was a co-owner of the Radwood shows. I don’t need it anymore, and it just sits around. It’s a damn good truck that will pull just about anything this side of a tractor trailer. I need to make it go away. - BB

Rory Carroll - O’Day DaySailer

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Sailing is generally thought of as being for rich people. When I say “sailboat owner” you think of an asshole who knows how to tie several kinds of knots. That’s not you, but that doesn’t mean you — yes, you — can’t go out and enjoy a nice breeze on your very own boat. You can, and you should. - RC

Andy Kalmowitz - 2023 Gotrax E-Scoot

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It’s no secret that I live in Manhattan, and having a car in the city is either prohibitively expensive or a pain in the ass at best. Because of this, I had to find a solution for commuting to and from work. I know what you’re thinking: take the subway. Totally, that makes a lot of sense. There are just a couple of things. 1) I’m prone to motion sickness. Sometimes being on the train (especially when it’s crowded) can trigger that. 2) I get sweaty. I’m a big ol’ boy and I wanna be crisp and dry when I get to work. A scooter solves all these problems PLUS in the long run it’s actually cheaper than taking the train every day.

She’ll do 18 mph and the battery will last me enough miles to get to and from work for a couple of days without charging.

I love this little thing so much. It’s really my second Gotrax scooter. I put over 1,000 miles on the first one I had, and that means it sort of just died on me one day. So, I bought a second, slightly bigger, one. I’ve had it for a few months now, and I cannot recommend it highly enough if you live in a place that isn’t exactly car-friendly. - AK

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14 / 15

Conclusion

Conclusion

In the last two and a half years we’ve gained and lost and re-gained some writers, we’ve bought and sold and re-bought a whole bunch of cars, trucks, SUVs, vans, and motorcycles, and we’re going to be buying and selling vehicles for years to come. Of the writers accounted for here, we have an average of 3.15 vehicles/conveyances each. I’m the outlier there with thirteen vehicles to my name.

In conclusion, I have a problem. And my co-workers have some pretty cool cars.

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