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These Are The Most Screwed Cars At Burning Man

These Are The Most Screwed Cars At Burning Man

People at Burning Man quickly realized their vehicles may not be up to the task.

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Image for article titled These Are The Most Screwed Cars At Burning Man
Screenshot: Today

Despite what the rich people at Burning Man this year may say, things have been a bit of a disaster. Record breaking rains completely flooded the part of the Nevada desert where the annual festival takes place, and it completely fucked up roads.

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Folks have been told to shelter in place and not try to leave the grounds. That, uh, didn’t exactly happen. While many people did stay put, a few very fine people decided not to heed the warnings of the National Weather Service.

You will not be surprised to learn that a good deal of these folks did not bring the proper vehicle to get through muddy terrain. However, even the people with the right types of vehicles found themselves stuck. That all has to do with the mud below their tires; thick, sticky stuff that can reduce even the most hard-core off-road tire to a slippery cylinder. Nasty stuff, unless you’re in a Ram TRX.

Anyway, because I am spiteful, I decided to comb through news footage from the mess and find some of the most fucked people at Burning Man this year. If you have a bad spirit, please enjoy!

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2 / 16

Range Rover On The Wrong Tires

Range Rover On The Wrong Tires

Image for article titled These Are The Most Screwed Cars At Burning Man
Screenshot: @rebeccabargerphoto (AP)

A blacked out Range Rover Sport stuck in the mud is probably the best representation of this entire miserable situation. It’s the perfect representation of everything else going on at Burning Man.

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3 / 16

Van Life Sucks

Van Life Sucks

Image for article titled These Are The Most Screwed Cars At Burning Man
Screenshot: CNN via YouTube

Getting stuck in deep mud is probably the 10th worst thing about doing the whole Van Life thing. It’s gentrified homelessness. Wake up people!

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4 / 16

RV Having Fun Yet?

RV Having Fun Yet?

There’s a nobility in giving up.
There’s a nobility in giving up.
Screenshot: Trent Palmer via YouTube
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5 / 16

The Water Truck

The Water Truck

Image for article titled These Are The Most Screwed Cars At Burning Man
Screenshot: @rebeccabargerphoto (AP)

The water guys are moving, but not fast. I do not envy being a contracted water truck driver stuck in the desert because rich fools wanted to do ecstasy and light some wood on fire.

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6 / 16

There Was An Attempt

There Was An Attempt

Image for article titled These Are The Most Screwed Cars At Burning Man
Screenshot: TODAY

This might be the saddest car at Burning Man. This poor Jetta barely made it out of its parking spot before getting stuck. From what I’ve read, it was left there for days, unable to move.

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Rammed

It’s hard to tell from this image, but the Ram is very much stuck right here. Where is here, you ask? Well it’s the middle of an intersection. Absolutely masterful job by this guy.

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8 / 16

Let’s Go Outback Tonight

Let’s Go Outback Tonight

Image for article titled These Are The Most Screwed Cars At Burning Man
Screenshot: CNN via YouTube

My favorite part of this imagine is all the footsteps. Someone spent a lot of goddamn time trying to get their Outback out of the mud, but to no success. They were probably dancing around this thing for a couple hours. Big RIP.

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9 / 16

Whatever The Hell This Thing Is

Whatever The Hell This Thing Is

Image for article titled These Are The Most Screwed Cars At Burning Man
Photo: David Crane (AP)

This is art, apparently.

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10 / 16

GX To The Rescue

GX To The Rescue

Image for article titled These Are The Most Screwed Cars At Burning Man
Screenshot: CNN via YouTube

It’s nice that people are helping each other, but I feel like the biggest help to this whole situation would have been to just stay home. Who am I, though? Burners gotta burn.

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11 / 16

Absolutely Biffed

Absolutely Biffed

I’m not exactly sure what this person did. I see a lot of second guessing in their past. That’s bad. You gotta pick your line, keep your momentum up, and forge ahead. You poor, poor fool.

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12 / 16

It’s a Jeep Thing

It’s a Jeep Thing

I, uh, don’t think that’s going to get out anytime soon.

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13 / 16

So Bad We Had To Show It Twice

So Bad We Had To Show It Twice

Imagine biffing something so hard you just give up and leave your expensive ass Jeep in the mud.

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14 / 16

Everyone Is Fucked

Everyone Is Fucked

Image for article titled These Are The Most Screwed Cars At Burning Man
Screenshot: KOLO-TV (AP)

Even once people were able to get out, they were still stuck in a line of traffic for hours on end. Oh, we do pity the rich, don’t we folks?

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15 / 16

Completely

Completely

We’re completely fucked

yeah.

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