The 2015 Mercedes-Benz S-Class Coupe Has 47 Crystals In Its Headlights

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Two doors, 47 Swarovski crystals, a sexy butt and 455 horsepower from a 4.7-liter biturbo V8. The 2015 Mercedes-Benz S-Class Coupe is here to solve a few problems of the über-rich — with crystals.

Let me walk you through the specs. With the 455 horses comes 516 pound-feet of pulling power in the S 500 Coupe (for the US, 449 hp with the same torque in the S 550 4Matic).

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The S Coupe is 197.91 inches long with a width of 74.76 and a height of 55.55. So yes, it's just as big as you expected it to be. There's no word on its weight, but you can go for 20-inch wheels to emphasize its sportiness.

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There are two flaps in the transversally positioned rear silencer of the twin-pipe exhaust that can be opened and closed pneumatically depending on the engine speed to make sure you hear those horses too. Choose the "S program" to get the most of it.

As far as gadgets go, it's the same as in the normal S-Class with 'magic body control' and every electric aid you can find in the book. You can also opt for the 3D sound system that's available even in their minivan.

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What you won't find in a minivan though is the 47 Swarovski crystals you can get if the standard LED headlamps don't feel shiny enough. Yep, 17 angular crystals for the daytime running lamps and 30 round-shaped ones making up the turn indicator lamps. I hear Kanye West has three sets already.

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The S-Class Coupe will be very welcome. Just think about it! Before it, you had to buy an S 63 AMG if the E 63 AMG wasn't prestigious enough for your secret society. It's a brilliant car but you aren't supposed to drive it. Your chauffeur does.

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With the Coupe, you finally get the size you wanted but with a front seat designated just for your ass. And what a seat that is! Nappa leather with a diamond backstitching pattern, just how you like it!

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The great thing about the S Coupe is that it's pretty much the same both inside and outside as the concept we've seen in Frankfurt last year. And while the front of the car is nothing to write home about, but the rear is a different story. It's something new from Mercedes-Benz.

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Yes, there's a lot from the SLS AMG in there, but I also see a touch of Alfa Romeo GT and maybe even a bit of VW Phaeton in that design. The resulting shapes are brave and sexy, and that's exactly the sort of stuff you want from a luxury coupe at $116,000+...

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The S Coupe will launch in the U.S. this fall with the S550 4MATIC.