Tesla's Porsche-Hauling Cybertruck Vs. Porsche 911 Drag Race Was, Shockingly, Just Another Trick

Marketing razzle-dazzle is no match for hard numbers.

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Gif: Tesla/X

We here at Jalopnik may not be the smartest root vegetables in the turnip fields, but when Elon Musk claimed in November of last year that the Tesla Cybertruck could beat a Porsche 911 Carrera while towing a Porsche 911 Carrera in a quarter mile, we called it like we saw it: bullshit. And now, our good friend Jason Fenske at “Engineering Explained has a video explaining just how deep in the bovine doo-doo Musk was when he made his outrageous claims.

It all comes down to a sneaky and simple misdirection; while Musk claimed in November that the Porsche-towing Cybertruck beat the Porsche 911 in a quarter mile race, the two vehicles pretty clearly only ran an 1/8th mile.

No, Tesla Cybertruck Is *Not* Faster Than Porsche (While Towing)

Per usual, Fenske goes into deep detail on the numbers behind the stunt. He found that Tesla likely picked up the slowest 911 it could find (a manual Carrera T) to give the truck an extra boost. His video is a detailed look at the difference between quickness and speed and how Tesla pulls off its stunts to confuse its customers. But he also gives the Cybertruck props for likely hitting a 12-second(ish) quarter mile while towing a vehicle — a totally bonkers achievement, one sullied by a pointless misdirection on the part of Tesla’s CEO.

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However, the video may not completely jive with fastest recorded track time, according to an update on Fenske’s Twitter. The Cybertruck still doesn’t beat the 911, but if the truck isn’t hauling anything, the 1/4 mile run time is a lot closer.

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This isn’t the first video Tesla biffed on purpose in order to increase sales. A video showing Tesla’s supposed self-driving capabilities in 2016 seemed awfully fake to us, and our suspicious were all but confirmed in 2023 when a Tesla engineer came forward to give details on the fake stunt. Considering that the very names of Tesla’s advanced driver assistance systems are misleading, it’s really no wonder that the company might fudge facts to catch attention.

So when you do eventually get your Cybertruck, expect a quick vehicle that can tow just fine, but it’s not some miracle worker. Physics and engineering can’t be blustered away.