Dodge is an American automaker that is also American cringe, the most American, really, in that Dodge is an ongoing vulgarity. Its marketing department knows this and leans into it, but also are constantly finding new ways to make Dodge’s persona even more crass and cheesy.
The newest example is from today when Dodge unveiled something called its “’Never Lift’ business plan.” This is a two-year plan to do a few things, though today’s announcement is really a pre-announcement for another announcement on Friday when Dodge will detail something called “Operation 25/8.” Helpfully, Dodge explains the name:
Dodge provided a first look at a massive eight-week, 25-car giveaway it’s calling Operation 25/8.
Operation 25/8 is named for the spirit of Dodge and the “Brotherhood of Muscle” that goes above and beyond, 24 hours a day, seven days a week (going one more hour, one more day).
OK.
Dodge also said it would be paying someone $150,000 — I’m guessing an influencer-type with a big Instagram following — to be its “Chief Donut Maker,” a person apparently tasked with doing donuts in a Dodge, and not contributing to society by making donuts one can eat.
According to [Chief Executive Officer Tim Kuniskis], Dodge is looking for an “ambassador” of Never Lift who embodies the spirit of the founding Dodge brothers.
“The Dodge brothers were scrappy go-getters. Never content to follow the trends, they were the seekers of a better, faster, more outrageous way of doing things,” said Kuniskis. “And we’re looking to hire someone just like them as an ambassador of Never Lift.”
Among the jobs benefits, Kuniskis listed a Hellcat to drive, $150,000 salary, wardrobe and a business card that carries the title “Chief Donut Maker.”
More: Dodge will be certifying some dealers as “Power Brokers,” because they will be trained more on performance and motorsport things. Dodge even says your warranty will remain if you have a Power Broker shop upgrade your car, which is nice I guess. Most substantively: Direct Connection, Dodge’s factory-backed performance parts service, is back.
“Dodge is a pure performance brand, and the reintroduction of Direct Connection will empower members of the brotherhood looking for increased performance without violating emission requirements or the factory warranty,” said Kuniskis. “We’re doubling down on our commitment to Direct Connection by pairing it with our new Dodge Power Brokers program, so when customers want to unlock the true horsepower potential of their Dodge muscle car, they can connect with a network of dealerships as their trusted resource.”
Direct Connection will launch with a full line of factory-tuned parts, including exclusive new Direct Connection “Tuner” and “Stage” kits that will allow Dodge owners to install factory-tuned, 50-state-legal stage kit calibrations. The Direct Connection Stage II kit can unlock nearly 100 additional horsepower, while a Stage III kit is under development to unlock even more.
All-new Direct Connection modern performance kits will be available to upgrade the engine, suspension and driveline of the current-era Dodge Challenger while maintaining vehicle factory warranty when installed by a Dodge Power Brokers dealer.
In the competition arena, Direct Connection will deliver race-ready parts for the Dodge Challenger Mopar Drag Pak, including engines, transmissions and a body-in-white (BIW) that will allow racers to build their own Drag Pak.
This press release uses the word “brotherhood” four times, which (I think) is intended as a reference to the founding Dodge brothers but also has the elegant effect of saying the quiet part out loud, too, as Dodges are not for women, obviously.
Anyway, all these Dodge men are buying Dodges that, in 2021, are cars that haven’t seen a new generation in a decade or more. Incredible stuff from Dodge, really, still hawking cars built for a different world. I am taking notes.