Billionaire Planning Titanic II Claims It Will Be Anti-Woke And Vaccine-Free

With all their powers combined, we think the orcas can take care of this one.

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Clive Palmer
Photo: Rohan Thomson / Stringer (Getty Images)

For more than a decade, Australian billionaire Clive Palmer, has worked to make a seaworthy replica of the Titanic, known as the Titanic II, a reality. He still has yet to begin construction of the ship, but one of these days, it’s definitely happening for sure. And to make sure Titanic II fares better on its maiden voyage than the original Titanic, it will be equipped with all the latest navigation and safety equipment, including enough lifeboats for all the passengers. He also insists it will be a symbol of “traditional values,” anti-woke and vaccine-free.

Palmer recently sat down for an interview with Rolling Stone where he talked about his plans for the Titanic II. It’s a long read, but many of the quotes are absolutely incredible. For example, while discussing what originally got him interested in building a second Titanic, Palmer said, “You remember the musicians on the Titanic that stood there at their station, playing “Nearer My God to Thee”? They were more concerned about the people that were with than themselves. We’re running our culture into a self-centered society, so we want to refocus on those things.”

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Read out of context, the man has a point. Large parts of society are incredibly self-centered, and we really should be concerned more about others. Which is why it’s so important to get vaccinated, create a stronger social safety net and ensure society is safe for everyone to live their lives, right? Oh no. Palmer doesn’t want that. In fact, that’s the last thing he would want.

Palmer managed to keep the mask on for the first couple of questions, but it didn’t take long for the interview to slip into familiar buzzwords. While talking about whether or not he would take outside investment to fun the Titanic II’s construction, he gives this incredible answer:

I don’t really want to be in control so much, I’m not that sort of person. But I’ve got too much money. So I don’t need any other money. We don’t need to raise any funds. We don’t need to take mums and dads money, if anyone loses any money, it’s [me], and I’m happy to lose money at this age. We can make instant decisions about what we want to do without worrying about the consequences. We haven’t got to have a committee sits here and says, “Oh, should we do this? What will the SEC say?” It’ll be a Covid vaccine-free environment.

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What? Seriously? That’s how he’s going to pivot to being anti-vax? And in case you weren’t 100 percent certain that Palmer is an anti-vax dingbat, you should also know that he spent millions of dollars challenging an Australian mandate that required police and ambulance service workers to get vaccinated. Don’t worry, though, you’ll still be allowed on the COVID cruise if you get your medical advice from actual doctors.

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“Yeah, we’ve got to extend our hand in love and friendship for people being vaccinated despite the side effects,” Palmer told Rolling Stone. “We have to look after them. And they’re all good people. We’re all the same really, like white, green, yellow, whatever it is — to embrace each other.”

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He was also kind enough to explain what he meant previously when he said the Titanic II would represent traditional values and not “woke” values:

There’s been a concept in society that you can cancel people. I think you know what I mean by “canceled” people, and we think that’s a terrible concept. The United States was founded on the rights of men to be different. The diversity that we’ve had in our economy, in our intellectual development has really meant that’s developed our society to a higher level. I’m talking about Western society in general. So the French Revolution, the American Revolution, all those things were brought about by individuals [claiming] their rights to express an opinion or view. I mean, you should have the right to be wrong.

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What that has to do with a giant boat, we have no idea, but those are certainly some things he said. Sorry if you decided not to buy a ticket to see a show headlined by an artist who wants your friends to die. Not only are you ruining Western society with your cancel culture, but you’re also anti-Titanic II somehow.

So, uh, best of luck building your boat, buddy. If there’s one thing that can bring the world together, it’s a superspreader ship built for bigots. Just probably not for the reasons Palmer would like to think. We’ve attempted to reach out to the Orca Coalition for a comment on its plans for the Titanic II but were unable to echolocate a representative who could give us a statement prior to publication. Still, if the Titanic II ever becomes a reality and does set sail, we’ll be cheering them on from shore.